Tortured By A Sick Cruel World

It's OK for the "man" to keep me down but this whole boot on the neck thing is just too much. There were Funyuns in the vending machine today. Golden delicious artificially onion-flavored Funyuns. I placed my dollars worth of change into the machine and tearfully selected option A1. The big metal coil began to turn and I could see the bag getting closer ... closer ... and then the coil stopped with the bag still firmly lodged in place. "No snacks for you, nig". But fucking mouth tease is gonna learn homey don't play this shit. I thought about tilting the machine and then remembered all those funny email postings about people crushed by vending machines. The stick figure diagram on the front of the machine reminded me. Shit they know this happens all the fucking time, don't they ?

I wrote down the emergency service number and went over to the public lab phone. These byatches gonna feel my pimp hand. An Asian cutie pie in a lab coat walked past me but I didn't check her out. The "man" is watching, recording. I look down at the linoleum floor. Eye contact bad. I pick up the phone and dial the number. After three rings they pick up. Some old woman tries to give me her customer service "May I help you" hand job. Do they really think this is going to satisfy me ? That's some fucked up shit. I hang up before saying anything. I take a deep breath. There's no way they can repay me for this hell. And I have a bag of Doritos at my desk. Asian cutie pie is now returning to her office. But this time I'm giving the finger to the "man". I don't care if he or his recording machines are watching, recording. My oh my. Daddy LIKE. This chick has a drool worthy ass. And is carrying two bags of Funyuns.